Work In Progess

4 Mar

I don’t know how I continue to let this happen. A day off from schoolwork turns into three then a week. An hour of TV turns into five episodes of that stupid teen drama my friends suggested I start watching. Forgetting to take my meds before bed one night turns into more nights than I can count. Bad days with my family and frustration with friends start to add up. I start making up excuses so I don’t have to hang out with my friends. Then I’m waking up on a beautiful sunny with clouds in my eyes and tears pouring down. This has happened far too many times in the past few years that you would think I would learn the pattern and try to fix it. But I don’t. So I’ll probably spend my day in bed, tired but restless. Wishing I could be better at everything and nothing at all. 

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3 Responses to “Work In Progess”

  1. Colleen March 4, 2009 at 6:09 pm #

    Hang in there Jillian.

    You have much to offer the world and yes, you (and the rest of us) are works in progress.

    Remember, none of us is perfect!

  2. George March 5, 2009 at 1:08 pm #

    If it helps, you are not alone at all. Take care.

  3. amylia March 13, 2009 at 2:29 am #

    You are not alone at all. I could’ve (and maybe should’ve) written the exact same blog entry most any day of this past month..and the one before that, and the one before that.

    Right now I am working on my MFA in Creative Writing/poetry through an online MFA program and so, like you, it’s self-taught on the computer and it’s up to me to be disciplined and make my schedule. Well, I’ve been in a depression and making excuses too and it’s been hard to get myself on track…easy to let the days slip by, one and then the next and then the next and suddenly you’re 31 like me and wondering WTF happened! 🙂

    Nah, it’s not that bad, but I do understand. At least some of it. I’m back on track with school though I still waste too much time that I should be writing or what not, but I say we lay off ourselves and be kind to ourselves, as we would to our best friend. “Handle ourselves with kid gloves” so to speak (is that Dr.Philism?) Oh gawd…anyway, hang in there and stop judging yourself. You’re way too awesome for that. Keep doing it and I’m gonna yell at you,

    “HEY, DON’T TALK ABOUT MY FRIEND JILLIAN LIKE THAT, OR I’LL KICK YOUR ARSE!”

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