Archive | November, 2009

Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?

12 Nov

Before my mother had my sister she was afraid of the idea of having a daughter for a simple reason. The hair. My mother is of Irish and Ukrainian descent. My father is African American. Meaning that any future child would be likely have naturally curly hair. Having a boy would be easy, keep it close, nothing to worry about. For a girl the solution would not be so simple. Hilariously, my sister was born almost bald. Eventually her hair evolved into waves and finally loose curls. Nothing too serious. Me on the other hand, I was born with a straight thick black mop of hair that my grandmother thought was a hat the first time she came to see me as a baby. The thick straight mop turn into a little curly afro, then waterfall of tight curls.

Over the years I’ve developed a complicated relationship with my hair. It’s been long, it’s been short, I’ve dyed it, straighten it, anything. Yesterday, I had my hair cut and blown dry straight. As my friend sat in the salon, mouth hanging open in amazement, I was kind of caught off guard. I’m used to the annoying people who think it’s okay to run their hands through my curly hair, like it’s rarity is an open invitation to do so. I’m not used to people treating me like straight hair makes me beautiful. I know my friend only intended to compliment the drastic change from curly to straight hair, but honestly it made me feel off. I like my hair curly. I’m okay with it. It makes me who I am. Straight hair is nice on some people, and it’s fun to change it up every once in awhile. But when people say things like “wow, you just look so great” a compliment I rarely receive from the same people when I have curly hair, I’m turned off. I know that straight hair is what’s preferred by many people, but it’s not my preference. I’ll never have movie star straight hair and I don’t want it. It just makes me sad that the people I know and love, prefer me as someone I’m not. Or think of me as more beautiful when I do something to change myself.  So here… the beautiful me…

Photo 14


The ink is running toward the page

12 Nov

Today was weird. That is all. I’ve got nothing.

I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it

10 Nov

Thankfully most of my friends stayed in the area for college, but a few went away and I miss them so much. One friend in particular is the reason I’m counting the days until Thanksgiving break. She’s at school in Minnesota. Who the hell goes to Minnesota, it’s what I call “fly over country”. My friend loves it there and it shows, but God I miss her. I miss her laugh. I miss the fact that she could complete my sentences when it came to our shared sick sense of humor. I miss the way she debates me when I’m wrong and tells me when I’m being ridiculous. I miss her cursing like a sailor. I miss our Panera and a movie dates. I just miss her. Skype is great, texts are fine, pictures are worth a thousand words, but nothing is better than being in the same place together. Even though we’re not the hugging type of friends I can’t wait to see her and just give her a hug. So here’s to 16 days and the Panera date we’ve already scheduled!

The city where the people hold the power

9 Nov

Seven years ago I was in sixth grade. My sister had just gone away to college. I was at the top of the elementary school food chain. Life was good. And then one day in October something changed. A shooting. And then a few more the next day. All within a short drive from where I live. We were living in the cross fires of the DC Sniper. During 3 weeks that October, 10 people were killed and 3 others were injured. I’ll never know the pain suffered by their families. I only remember complaining about indoor recess and the school lock down. I can remember watching the a police chief give updates on the news every afternoon. I don’t remember being very scared, probably because I didn’t know better.
Tomorrow at 9PM, the state of Virginia will execute the man who terrorized the DC area. It seems like time passed so quickly. For what seemed like the longest 20 days our area lived in fear, and now seven short years later “justice” will be served. I just honestly can’t believe it. I’m not quite sure how to feel.

Can’t find the way ’cause the way is gone

8 Nov

I want to write so badly. I have so much that I need to say, and yet I don’t know know where to start. I’m so consumed by the things that are right in front of me that I can’t even approach what’s going on in my head. It’s easier to be quiet than to let myself share, and at the same time all I want to do is scream about what’s going on. I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I’m just so overwhelmed by everything and nothing at all. I’m just aimlessly shifting around the puzzle pieces of my life in the hopes that a solution will present itself.

Just for one night no one will ever know

8 Nov

So. I missed a day/two. Whoops. I spent Friday morning at school, the afternoon driving with friends to Philadelphia, and the evening at a concert. I spent today catching up on my sleep. So here’s a picture for today. Be back tomorrow. IMG_1477

Do it again, again, and again.

5 Nov

It’s Thursday. In my house that means Chipotle and Grey’s Anatomy. We call it Chipotle Thursday. I won’t be here tonight. I’ll be celebrating Thursday with friends watching the same show I could be watching at home. It’s funny, over time rituals morph. My mom and I started Chipotle Thursday. Then my sister would join during the weeks she was home. Now she’s temporarily living here, so she’s become the third amiga. When school started Chipotle Thursday became Grey’s Thursday. Sometimes at home, sometimes in my friends’ dorm room. Life is weird. The little things change right before your eyes.

PS. A year ago today Barack Obama was elected as the 44th President of the United States…where did that year go?